Vacation.

So, my last week of vacation started today. The first week I dedicated to whiskey. The second week I dedicated to rest up after a week of whiskey.

I feel I should probably do something more constructive with my third and last week of vacation. But I honestly don't know what. My friend asked me to go with him, his wife and his kids to the amusement park someday this week.

Actually, it was his wifes idea, otherwise he wouldnt go. I suggested we take the train there, because I dont feel like driving. And I kinda had whiskey in my mind as well.

I didnt really care a lot for whiskey before, all I saw it as was as one of the ingredients of irish coffee. But recently I have actually started to enjoy the whiskey itself. I've found out that I can pretty much drink a whole bottle of whiskey and not get particulary drunk from it. Just getting a little bit of buzz.

And I dont get a hangover from it.

I hate hangovers.

Anyway, today is monday and I have exactly seven days on me to do something constructive with my vacation. Problem is, lots of things cost money, I dont like to spend money.

Well I would like to be able to spend money, but in the situation I'm in I really can't. I like spending money as much as the next guy though, I just dont really have any to spend.

As I'm writing this my friend called me up. Aparently he have bought some computer from some guy in another town, and wants me to drive him there and pick it up tomorrow. So I guess that tomorrow is planned already, for now.

And, yay! I love driving car!

Not so much. But i'll do it anyway I guess. And I guess that means no whiskey today either.

So I guess it'll be cigarettes and coffee and online games today. Nice way to spend a day on your vacation huh?

I'm not crazy, Yet.

I might not write here as often as I used to do.

Thats mostly because I dont like to write while on a whiskey buzz. If I just had someone that would type down all the shit I have in my head, we could open a library.

Shits been a little crazy, I admit that. Some people might think of me as crazy, and I'm not sure I can really blame them. It might seem like I have no idea what I'm doing, but really, thats not the case.

I know exactly what I'm doing and I know exactly where I want this to end. But things arent always that easy, unfortunatly. And to be honest, sometimes I think that my head is going to explode.

Eventually I'm hoping that all this will lead to a nice quiet life with the one person in the world I have ever loved. And that is what keeps me going, thats what keeps me from just giving up and say "Fuck this, im out".

I'm not a huge fan of complicated things, and I'm certainly not a very patient person. But when it comes to her, well its just different. I could never walk away from her while I'm alive. No matter how complicated things are. Now if you knew me, you'd know thats dedication. I would literary go to hell and back if I thought that would make her happy. Because if anyone in this universe deserves to be happy, its her. And to be completely honest, I find happiness in her beeing happy. It's as simple as that.

Some people might think I can find happiness elsewhere. Or that I can be happy with someone else. They have no idea how wrong they are. I'm just not even intrested in finding happiness anywhere else than at her side. There was a time when I thought money would make me happy. I'm older and wiser now. I realize that money would make things less complicated, and that itself would make it easier to reach the happiness I'm after. But money in itself could never make me happy.

I guess this is just me saying to you all who read or follow this blog. I'm not giving up. And please dont push me. I have already given up both friends and family because they told me I'm crazy, because they told me to let this go and to move on with my life. And I will give up on every single person who knows me that will say anything like it. That includes you.

If you dont like what I'm trying to do, keep it to yourself. If you think I'm crazy for what I'm trying to do, you have no faith in me and I dont want to be your friend anyway. Just need to get the word out there, be supportive or be quiet.

Or be gone.

On a more serious note.

Awhile ago I stumbled upon a thread in a forum. Nothing special about that, since I'm doing that pretty much every day.

This thread however started by linking to this news site. It said that this one man in Northern California had killed an older man, and later he said he did it because this man had sexually abused him when he was young. Now it doesnt matter if it was true, or if he just made all that up as a lame atempt of an excuse for what he did. The guy (killer) got sentenced to 9 years in prison for the killing anyway.

Ofcourse, if his story is true then I think the man who got killed got what he deserved, if that.

Anyway, as in all forums things gets derailed and the subject goes from the original post to  discussing about pedophiles and sex offenders.

In my opinions those are the worst crimes anyone can commit, even worse than murder. But thats just me.

What surprised me though was that there is actually people out there who is defending pedophiles and child molesters.

What the hell....?

Saying stuff like "They are sick", "they cant help themselves", "They should get treatment" etc etc.

Really?

How would you feel as a parent if anything like this happen to your child? Would you be all understanding and saying "Aww well thats ok, he's sick and cant help himself"? The whole "beeing sick" to me is just an extremely lame excuse to get away with one of the worst crimes a person can comitt.

Because, even if it's true that they actually are sick, it's not like they dont know that what they are about to do is not only very very wrong, but also illegal. I mean, should a Kleptoman get away with bank robbing because they are sick? Should a psychopath get away with murder because they are sick?

Ofcourse they shouldnt. And if they are so sick that they really cant know the difference between what is right and wrong, I would believe they should get capital punishment anyway.

Treatment? Who is gonna pay for that? You gonna pay for that with tax money? Tax money that the victims families help paying?

"Not only did this guy rape your child, now you are going to help paying for his (so called) treatment"

Does that sound right to you?

I can only come up with one reason why anyone wanna openly defend childmolestors, and thats because they are one themselves.

When it comes to crimes like this, crimes against defenceless children, I really really wish we had death penalty in this country.

Sources:

Fox News
The discussion thread.

I've got a Phd in internet browsing.

I havent been writing anything here for awhile now. I've been working, and when I come home from work im too damn tired to think straight. And on the weekends I've been drinking whiskey. I dont usually drink, not alot anyway. But lately there has been some drinking.

Anyway. I like internet, there's alot of funny shit going on there, updated 24/7. Usually when I come home from work, after I've taken a shower and eaten some, I sit down and try to find funny stuff off the internet. People have been asking me: "How do you find all this stuff?".

Ok well, if you just google "fun" you will get like a bazillion hits of which 99.5% of it is pretty useless. Or old, or both.

What I start by doing is check facebook. There's almost never anything fun going on there though, this person did this on mafia wars, that person found a crippled cow on farmville etc etc. Seems like people only use facebook for the games on there, I think I'm the only person on facebook that doesnt play ANY  of the facebook games. Once I've confirmed that nothing funny is going on on facebook as usual, I go to my favourite gaming forum. There's usually not alot of "fun" stuff going on there either, not fun in that way anyway. Mostly gaming geeks arguing over some stupid stuff in a game or something. It's amusing at most to read those arguments.

After that I visit a website where people only post funny pictures. There are not always funny either, but its usually worth the time to go through them. Then I go by regretful morning to see whats new there, just like the other places its usually only a few funny things on there as well. But it's also worth the time to check it out.

I'm saving the best for last. Now this is a website that is really really hard to leave. It has everything from weird funny pictures to amazing stories and "wtf news". And every time you click on a link it opens up a new page with 10 other links on it. Atleast 1-3 of these new links are interesting, and every one of those links brings you to another page with 10 more links and so on. Damn I love that site, cant get enough from it. You wanna make sure you get the goodies though, really no point in clicking on the "10 tips how the get fit for the beach" when there's a "Man sues his siamesic twin for indecent exposure".

Man... I can stay on this site forever...


Well folks, there you have it. My little guide on how to make a boring evening funny :)

sneak preview?

I know I havent really told anyone, but I'm writing a book. Or atleast I'm trying to. One of the reasons I havent told anyone is because this isnt the first book I've started to write, but I surely hope that I will finish this one. I obviously never finished any of the other ones lol. And before anyone asks, no its not an autobiography, and its far far from finished. As I said, it might never even get finished. Anyway, I thought my faithful readers (i write that with sarcasm) should get a chance to get to read a short bit from what I've got so far. And sorry ladies, its not a romance, more like a thriller I would say.

Enjoy.

"My name is Henry Jonas. I'll be 35 years old tomorrow. Tomorrow I will also become a killer. My victim does not yet know what awaits him, he's still asleep from the drugs I gave him.

       I had my first experience with death when I was 8 years old. Me and some friends were playing in a small forest close to where we lived, when we found this local woman who had hung herself. While all the other kids ran off screaming and yelling, I just stood there. Watching her. It was almost as if I were hypnotized, I couldnt take my eyes off her. It was beautiful. The woman herself was not a beautiful sight, with her swollen blue face, eyes halfway popped out of her skull. But the scene itself, it was so quiet. There was no blood, just the woman hanging there in the tree, silent. Never again would she speak another word, never again would she laugh or cry. The whole thing was like poetry without words, like a rare piece of art. Later in my life I would understand that what I had seen that day was the ultimate sacrifice, the sacrifice of ones own life. But right then and there it was as if I felt a connection with this woman. I must have been standing there for atleast 15 minutes, it was as if time stood still. There was nothing else but me and her. Even today, almost 30 years later, I can still see her when I close my eyes. The sirens from the police cars woke me up from my mysterious daydream, and I somehow understood that I had to leave before they got there. The thought of having adults question me about this scared me alot more than the woman herself did. I didn't know her name, but in my mind I called her Jessica. She followed me through my childhood like a big sister. Jessica was always there, in the back of my head, ready to give me advice, ready to comfort me. I never had alot of friends when I grew up, I always kept to myself. But that was ok, I wasnt really intrested in friends anyway. They thought I was weird, I thought they were childish, even beeing a child myself. But I could always count on Jessica to be there for me."

Sexmonsters!

First off.

I would like to ask all my readers (thats right, both of you) to try and give me some feedback on this blog. A quiet audience is hard to please. It would also make it easier for me to try and estimate how many (if any) readers I have. So please take a minute to let me know what you think of this blog so far. If you dont have an account here and dont want to make one, you can always leave a comment on my facebook. So, give me some love! Show me that you exist!

Second off.




Women are sexmonsters. They just tend to hide it very well. Just think of all the porn women read all the time.

Porn you ask?

Notice how I said read. Thats the difference between men and women. Men watch porn while women read porn. As an example, take all those Jane Austen books.

Porn.

Just because there's no nude pictures in the books doesnt make it any less porn. The pictures (and the real action) is whats going on inside the womans mind when she reads.

Then they cover up their porn with words like "romance", because they dont want to admit to beeing addicted to porn.

Why do you think by the way that its mostly women who are all obsessed about vampires? Its not because they are romantic. Or because they look good. Its because of the sex.

A vampire is the only man a woman know for certain will go down on her everyday for atleast 1 week per month.

Ofcourse they find that appealing! Most guys would want a girlfriend like that as well.

Racism

It has to be the single absolute most stupid thing you could use as an excuse for hating someone. The message you send to people by beeing a racist is that you are not intelligent enough to come up with a real reason for hating on someone.

- See that guy over there?
- Who?
- That guy, over by the car right there.
- Oh yeah, what about him?
- I really hate him, alot. I wanna kill that guy so bad.
- Why? What did he do?
- He didnt do anything, but just look at him. Standing there with his groceries beeing all black. How dare he?
- ....

Does that even make sense? If you gonna hate on someone, atleast do it right. I'm no racist, I'm all for equality. Which means I hate everyone equal, no matter race, gender, age or weight. If you wanna hate like a pro, you gotta find the small individual things with people that are worth hating. It doesnt have to make sense to anyone else really, but atleast come up with something better than generalizing someone by the way they look. Hate them because of what they wear, because they have bad breath, because they are actully an idiot.

I'd bet anything that anyone who claims to be a racist, can under the right circumstances fall in love with someone from the race they are hating on. Which makes the whole racist thingy even more invalid. You cant hate on a whole race but one person. Thats even more stupid.

It'll be like saying "I really really hate strawberries, cant stand them. Well except for that one over there. Its the best god damn strawberry in the world. Damn I love that strawberry, but only that one. Why you ask? Because that one is different from all the others ofcourse"

Are you shitting me? I got news for you. ALL strawberries are different from each other. Not 2 are the same (without the help of some gene manipulation).

There's only one correct way to eat strawberries by the way, with whipcream and sugar. And then only as an excuse to have the whipcream and sugar.

While on the subject of hate, and strawberries.

I've been told that I'm passive agressive. I never really thought about it before, but I guess I am. I dont walk up to someone and just punch them in the face. What am I? A frickin cave man?

To be passive agressive is an art really. I usually use sarcasm as my weapon of choice. Either you'll run in to someone who isnt intelligent enough to understand what you are doing, which makes it extremely funny. And in this case no one gets hurt, because he has no idea im messing with him anyway.

Then there's those people who get really really mad, which is also kind of fun in a way. This is where the art comes in to play.

Have you ever provoked and insulted someone you dont know? And someone who at the moment is extremely mad at you, so mad that they might even hit you in the face any minute?

See, the art is to either insult them in a way they dont understand, or that confuses them enough so they dont know how to react. Its not easy I tell you. And the times when you happen to do this to someone who is aggressive and might get physical, its even more of a challange. Because once they're as mad as a hornet, you gonna have to convince them (really fast) that it was all their fault, and they totally owe you an apology now (preferably before you get punched really hard, after works too but hurts more).

Well, even if you should get punched its not the end of the world. Atleast it was fun while it lasted. And if you are really brave (and got really good reflexes) you can keep insulting them while they're trying to hit you. Key word here though is "trying". If you just refuse to fight back, and manage to avoid him or her when they're doing their very best to crush your face they will not only be insulted by what you did before, now they're embarrassed as well.

I realize all this probably makes me look like a dick, but I'm really not that bad. I'm a decent guy, deep inside. Really deep inside.

I have a dream.

So I've been told that I do stupid, irresponsible stuff most of the time, and been called out to be weird and odd for that. But why?

I do have a masterplan, I really do. Just because you dont know of my plans, or because you dont understand them I'm stupid and dont make sense? I'm not going to reveal my masterplan, because its mine. But it involves not beeing bored to death.

So, if I quit my job, sell everything I own and jump on the first plane I can find room at on the airport, its actually part of my plan. It may seem like a stupid thing to do, and it might even be stupid in a way. But from my point of view its not stupid.

It doesant really matter if I end up doing prison time in south africa for driving without driving license, or if I end up having to build a raft out of coconut shells to get off some deserted island. I would still not see it as a loss.

Years from now (I hope) when I'm dying I can either pat myself on the back and say to myself,

"Good boy Zan, you have worked hard all your life and you have spend your entire life in the safety of your own backyard. You didnt take any risks at any time, and can now die knowing you have always been safe, always made rational desicions."

Or I can say,

"Yeah, things got really messy a few times, and I screwed up alot along the way. And here I am, and old man cherishing his memories of the adventures he had when he was young. Things might have looked really bad at times, but these days I can look back and laugh about it. Atleast I know I did everything in my power to live a full life"

Which one do you think I'll chose?

I see people everyday that in my opinion have empty, mellow lives. But its their choices, and I'm not telling them they are crazy for that. If they wanna live a safe, secure and BORING life, its their choice.

Work at the same place for 50 years, have your house, your car, your dog, your summer house. With every single year looking exactly the same. Work, eat, sleep and get drunk on the weekends. And you call this a life? You call me weird? The only thrilling things that'll ever happen in your life will be when you gossip about what others have done in their lives.

Thanks, but no thanks.

Define friendship.

What is friendship? To have common interests? To laugh and have fun together? To know each others deepest secrets? To trust each other?

The reason I'm asking this is because there is still people who are narrowminded about friendship over the internet. To me friendship over the internet is no difference from friendship outside the internet, apart from one thing. You cant just call someone up and come over for a coffee all of a sudden, but thats it.

Some might argue that making friends over the internet is not safe, because you cant know what kind of person he or she is. But thats just the same in the real world too isnt it? Just because you meet a person in a bar, on a party or on the beach doesnt mean that you can tell exactly what kind of person he or she is, can you? The person you met on the beach that seems like a very nice guy can still be a serial killer for all you know, it's not like he gonna tell you this just because you met on the beach and not on the internet.

Some of the best friends I have, I have never met face to face. And maybe I never will get the chance to meet them. But still when I talk to them online we have fun and laugh together, we talk about our lifes and dreams. Are they less friends just because we cant have a sporadic BBQ evening together?

The world is no longer a big and scary place, its only limits are what you want it to be. Ten or so years ago if you wanted to speak to someone on the other side of the world you had to use a phone, and pay huge phone bills for it. Today its practically free. Even if I should choose to use the phone to call my friends on the other side of the world today, it actually cost me less per minute to call them than what it would cost me to call my friend who lives in the next house.

So why do people still make such a big deal out of it when you say you have good friends on the other side of the world? The distans in such friendship is nothing more than a small inconvenience. And technically I can have a coffee with either one of my friends, with the use of headset and webcam its no big difference really.

Welcome to the 21st century.

I'm broken.

Another day at work are finally over. I can't say that its particualry fun to leave home at 6 in the morning and not come home until between 7 and 8 in the evening. On top of that I'm spending my days making security doors and windows for prisons.

Oh, the irony.

Let's not even go there.

If any doctors happens to read this, here's something for you.

I can't drive my car anymore. It's horrible and annoying. It's not like I forgot how to drive a car or something, just something happen to me. When driving I feel like im losing my balance, feels like any minute im just gonna lose the control over my car and crash it somewhere. Its annoying as hell and I have no idea whats wrong with me, or how to fix it.

I mean how can you even lose your balance in a car?

But whenever I get this feeling I have to keep every ounce of my focus just to not crash somewhere, and its staring to get really scary. Especially now when I got my job and have to drive my car everyday. Sometimes I'm panicing when this happens, and all I can think about is how not to drive the car right off the road. Even if its a big straight road and no one else is around.

How long will it take til the day when I'm too tired from work to keep my focus and actually crash somewhere?

I know, I know "Go and see a doctor".

Just that im really bad at going to the doctor unless I have to bring an arm or a leg in a bag with me. Besides, from old experience doctors never have any answers anyway.

I bet a doctor could use your whole life just taking tests, and who got time for that shit? But yeah, I really need to do something about this, before something happens.

Hello, I'm from the internet.

Ok, I know I havent been very good at writing here lately. In my defence though I've been working about 12 hours per day the past week.

I've found out something.

Working is hard work.

I found that out myself. It's not that I didnt know this, this isnt my first job or something. It's just my first job in almost 2 years now. Granted I'll get more money from working that from not working, but its painful to get up every morning and just shower and go back to bed when you come home from work.

Where's the life in that?

Even though I dont particulary enjoy working, I believe that if im gonna do it im gonna do it right. And I dont like to waste my time. When at work I work.

Aparently all kinds of people are attracted to me, as if I'm some sort of magnet or something. People just wont leave me alone.

I would think that about 1.5 hour every day goes to waste because someone walks up to me and start talking about this and that, stuff that I'm not even remotely intrested in. Their car, their dog, their past, their life.

seriously.

I dont like to be rude though and tell them off. But its annoying as hell standing there listening to someone ranting about whatever stuff, when all you wanna do is to do your work.  When I'm working nonstop time actually goes by alot faster, which is the main reason I dont wanna be interupted by something else.

Bet you thought it was because I just love working so much huh?

But yeah, here I am trying to do my job and to get the time to pass as fast as possible, when someone insists on telling me all kinds of crap i dont wanna hear.

Which kind of makes me wondering. Most people seems to have some sort of intrests on their free time. And it also reminds me that I dont really have any intrests. Which makes me feel weird when people asks me what I do on my free time.

Sometimes I just make stuff up.

I guess I do have an intrest or two, but its not even remotely close to what most people have. If someone walks up to you and try to have a conversation about cars, sports and stuff like that, and I say I have no idea about those things because im not really intrested and they ask me what I'm intrested in.

My answer would most likely be "the internet".

If I were to actually say that to people who can barely even spell to internet and think that all you can do on the internet is to pay your bills online. I'd be looked at as if i was stupid or something.

I guess I'm just weird.

categorizing people

I have a tendency of categorizing people. Especially people I dont know. You can call it unfair if you want, but I'm usually very good at judging peoples character. And when coming to a new job its not really that easy to learn and remember 20 new names. So in my mind I refer to them by the petname I have given them that reflect their character. This is what I've got so far.

* The bullshitter - This is the guy that you know as soon as he is opening his mouth bullshit will come out of it. Everything he says should be taken with a mountain of salt. Even though he's not rude or anything, its just in his nature to exaggerating stuff, usually stuff about himself to make him seem more important than he really is.

* The "I'm living in the past" - A nice guy in his mid 40's that is stuck in his youth. He got long hair and listening to heavy metal extremely loud all day. When talking to him he always talks about the stuff he did 20 years ago, and seem to miss those days dearly. Never say a word about his thought of his future.

* Mr. Nice guy - Also a very nice guy. But afraid of conflicts, most of the time just agree with what others say. He dont have any opinions about anything, or he keeps his opinions to himself. It would take alot of effort to get his personal opinion about anything.

* The grumpy boss - I dont know much about him, I do know his name though, but I'm still thinking of him as the grumpy boss. He really look grumpy every time I've talked to him. But who knows, maybe its just that he dont like me, or maybe he just looks like that.

* The old man - Dont know much about him, and I probably wont get the chance to get to know him either. Since he is old enough to retire next week.

* Uncle speed - He is a man in his mid 50's I think. Very nice man, I think he is some sort of foreman at my work. I think of him as uncle speed, because he is always on his way somewhere else. I've never once caught him beeing still for more than a millisecond, sometimes I wonder if he is on something illegal.

* Party dude - 25 year old guy, the youngest at the company. Always planning for the next party. Half the time when he goes to work, he hasnt slept in his own bed. Funny guy to talk to though.

Well, this is just some of the people I'm working with. And they are all actually good and nice people, despite their flaws. And its funny to listen to them, it makes a boring job more bearable. So far so good, I'm a bit curious though about what they think of me! hehe.

Mother's Day.

Today is mothersday, atleast in some countries. Actually most countries that celebrates mothersday do it today, other countries, such as Sweden celebrates it may 30th (last sunday in may). We always have to be so damn special, whats wrong with celebrating the same day as everyone else?

Mothersday never really made sense to me though. I never had a mother really, I had some woman giving birth to me 30 something years ago, but thats it.

Aside from that, it still doesnt make sense to me. Has it gone that far that we need to dedicate a specific day for us to be nice to our mothers, and the mothers of our children? Aren't we supposed to be nice to them every day? Or is this some pathetic way for us to make up for all the bad stuff we've done the past year, and now we think it will all be forgotten because we bring them flowers today?

It really dont make sense at all.

"I know I have been a jerk to you the past year or so, and to make it up to you I bought these flowers for you. They costed me like 5 bucks. We good now?"

Do we really think that women are that stupid? That all it takes is to buy flowers once per year and everything will be forgotten and forgiven?

If I were a woman I would be insulted to have a day dedicated to me because I'm a mother.

Not long ago though we also had the international womens day. So women have this:

* Mother's day
* Birthday
* International womens day
* Anniversary (although I'm not really sure why this day is considered to be the womens, I'm pretty sure they didnt get married alone)

And thats it? We only have to be nice to our women 4 days per year? Who the hell came up with this anyway?

On the other hand, what do we men have?

* Father's day
* Birthday

Not only does men only have 2 days, opposed to womens 4 days. But all women knows how to make their man happy, we're not that complicated. Hint: It has to do with happy endings, and I'm not talking about movies now.

Making a woman happy is alot worse. You wanna give her something, but if its too cheap you have shown her that she isnt worth that much to you. But if its too expensive, she'll think that you did something bad and trying to make up for it.

I think we should just all vote to remove these womens/mens days. And just be nice to each other everyday.

I think most men would think of it as a fair trade off to get a happy ending every night in exchange for buying flowers everyday.

I'm exhausted.

I forgot what working does to you. Getting up at 5 in the morning and come home at 5 in the evening. Thats pretty lame. I guess it will feel a bit better when I get my paycheck though, but I'm not getting a cent until june 25th, which is like 1.5 month away. Its my understanding that some people enjoy working, they must be crazy. What is there to enjoy? I can honestly say that if I won enough money on the lottery, I would not work. Ever. And I wouldnt feel bad about it.

I'm the first one to admit that I'm lazy, and that I dont like doing stuff unless I absolutely have to.

I've heard people say that they would work even if they had enough money so they wouldnt have to. Just so they have something to do. Whats up with that? You gotta have really bad imagination if you cant figure out stuff to do with unlimited resources, unless you go to a job in the morning.

What would I do if I won 300 millions?

I would travel. Easy as that. I'd go to one place and stay there til I got bored, then I would move on to next place. Ofcourse I dont have any children that would keep me at home. But even if I had, you can bring kids with you all over the place cant you? Maybe hire a nanny and bring her to take care of the kids. I dont know.

I know one thing though, there's no way in hell I would get up at 5 in the morning and go to work if I had that money. Maybe, just maybe once I get older I might open up a business of my own, doing something I like to do. But even then I would probably have people working for me anyway.

Someone once told me, "There's a reason why the area of yuor back is bigger than the area of your feet, you're supposed to spend more time on your back."

I couldnt agree with him more.

System works after all?

Awhile ago  I wrote about how the system seems to be a big failure. About how I'm running out of unemployment insurance and didnt have a job. How it seems that whoever make those calls seems to believe that jobs pop up out of nowhere just because the insurance runs out.

Well, tomorrow is my last insurance day.

Today I got a job.

I'm only gonna say this once, and you will never hear it from me again.

I was wrong...

Well, I'm not a person that easily admits to beeing wrong. So I'm not going to really say I'm wrong this time either. Its not that people just called me up every day and begged me to work for them out of nowhere. I've actually been working alot on this myself lately, and been on i dont know how many inteviews and such. And finally this morning I signed a contract for 6 months of work to begin with. Which can be extended, but even if it dont get extended, its fine with me. Because after working for 6 months I'm once again entitled to a new unemployment insurance. Either way things seems to have worked out for me.

Another funny thing though. Not really funny if im going to be honest. I've got alot of debts, who doesnt in this day and age? And where I live they have authorities that takes care of those debts, kind of. The moment I got a job offer, they called me up and asked me if I have a job so they can take my money. Whats up with that? Are they spying on me? It really seems that they knew I was gonna get a job before I even knew that.

Ofcourse I told them I dont have a job. As if I willingly would just give away my pay check the first thing I do when I start working. Anyone who would do that is just stupid.

All that is left now is to figure out a way for me to live until I get my first paycheck. And I'm going to have to work for 1.5 months before I get my first paycheck. That kind of sucks really. But yeah, atleast I got a job now. Which means I wont be able to sit here and write my blog as often as I have been.

But I really dont think there's alot of people who actually reads what I write anyway, so I dont really think anyone will miss me anyway.

Language barrier.

As I've said before, potentional employers always always calls early in the morning. And today was no exception. The only difference today was that this potential employer called from Norway. I'm having a hard time understanding my own language in the morning, and understanding some other language when I just woke up is nearly impossible.

Now if for some reason you dont know this, I live in Sweden. Sweden, Norway and to some extent Denmark pretty much have the same language. The only way for me to try and compare it is like this.

An american (swede) can understand a brittish (norweigan) person, and danish would be about the same as an american trying to understand a drunk irishman.

Now when we got that cleared up.

A potentional employer from norway called and woke me up this morning. I can only assume that we understood each other somewhat, since she said at the end of the conversation that she will call me back with more information in a few days. I think the job had something to do with pipes. But I cant say for sure. I know that she asked me if I had any experience in whatever she asked me about, and I said that ofcourse I do. I got years of experiences of just that. But then again, whatever she had asked, I would still have years and years of experience. Thats how you get a job isnt it? By saying you can do anyting and then cross your fingers that they'll take your word for it?

And hoping you wont be working alone so you can watch how others do and do whatever they are doing.

Anywas, languages have always fascinated me. The way you can put random letters together and all of a sudden they mean something. Pretty cool. Although some stuff dont make sense. I'm all for stuff making sense, I like sense. And some stuff would be so much easier if words related to each other were more similar. Two words that means the opposite, but are almost spelled and pronounced the same way can cause confusion and missunderstandings.

I will give an example, keep in mind that this is from a point of view from someone who doesnt have english as their native language.

* Humiliation

* Humility

Look at those two words, dont they seem related to you? Now I dont mean that the meaning of the two words are the same, ofcourse not. The whole point is that to someone who is learning english as a secondary language, they can easily be confused to mean almost the same thing.
While in fact they are quite different. This is how the dictionary describe these words.

Humiliation:

Humiliation (also called stultification) is the abasement of pride, which creates mortification or leads to a state of being humbled  or reduced to lowliness or submission. It can be brought about through bullying, intimidation, physical or mental mistreatment or trickery, or by embarrassment  if a person is revealed to have committed a socially or legally unacceptable act. Whereas humility  can be sought alone as a means to de-emphasise the ego, humiliation must involve other person(s), though not necessarily directly or willingly. Acting to humiliate yourself may be linked to a personal belief (as with mortification  of the flesh, with some religions).

Humility:

Humility is the quality of being humble: modest, not proud, doing something out of the goodness of your heart, not for yourself, self-abasing. Humility, in various interpretations, is widely seen as a virtue in many religious and philosophical traditions, being connected with notions of transcendent unity with the universe or the divine, and of egolessness; by contrast, some schools of thought are sharply critical of humility.

Now maybe you have to have another language than english in order to see how these words can be confused with each other. Or maybe its just me. But to me I can see how someone who doesnt speak enlgish fluently to say something like this:

"You really need to learn some humiliation"

Which wouldnt really make sense. Did I mention that I like things that makes sense?

Granted the misuse of those two words can be funny, I can only imagine what trouble it can cause if said to the wrong person in the wrong situation.

And I can see that I'm just ranting right now, so I'm going to stop right here and just go back to bed.

Early mornings.

So, I havent written anything for a few days. Things like this happens from time to time. I got a life too you know.

What?

My belly button isnt picking itself. And I got ice that needs to be watched melting. Aside from those things, I've been extremely tired the past days. I've had a couple of potential employers calling me. And for some reason they always call early in the morning. Why would they do that? They know I dont have a job, or I wouldnt have contacted them in the first place. Sine I dont have a job, I'm most likely asleep at 8 in the morning.

It's like they are testing you. Call early, and incase they can tell they woke you up they gonna think. "Hell no, I'm not giving that lazy ass a job. Sleeping at 8 in the morning like that."

And believe me, I'm doing my very best to not sound as if I were asleep when they call. It's hard and takes alot of practice. Basically what you have to do is to not use your brain, and just respond on a reflex on everything they say. Usually its nothing important anyway.

So this morning the phone rang again around 8 in the morning, ofcourse I was asleep. My reaction to the phone was to jump out of my bed and stand on the cold floor while answering the phone and doing my best to sound as if I have already been awake for atleast 2 hours, and already had my 1 hour morning walk. The man who called asked me a bunch of question, and I just replied whatever came to my mind.

I have no idea what so ever what I actually said to him. It might have been something like this though.

Me: Hello...
Man: Hello, I wish to talk to Zanno.
Me: Yes, we have ducks.
Man: Umm, are you Zanno?
Me: Absolutely.
Man: Oh ok, well we might have a job for you. But I would like to meet you before we make a decision.
Me: I'm pretty sure I didn't put it there on purpose.
Man:...
Man: Can you make it 10.30 on monday?
Me: Sure, that'll be perfect.
Man: Alright good, I'll see you monday then.
Me: Don't wait up for me.
Man: eeh, well..bye.

As you can see conversations can be quite confusing in the morning. And I vaguely remember that I was supposed to write something down so I would remember it later. But before the thought went to action, I fell asleep again.

A few hours later when I woke up, I knew someone had called me about a job, and that they wanted to meet me. Well knew might be an exaggeration, because to be honest I wasnt really sure that anyone had actually called or if it was just a dream. Atleast I didnt know until I checked my cellphone. Then I knew for sure that it was something I was supposed to remember, something that I cant remember for my life. I couldnt even remember the name of the guy who called.

So I figured the best thing to do was to call him back, pretend that I remember everything but lost the note where I wrote down all the important stuff. So I called him back.

Man: Hello.
Me: Hey, it's me. Zanno. We spoke this morning?
Man: Ah yes, how's the ducks?
Me: Huh? umm, well.
Me: Anyway, I lost the note where I wrote down the info you gave me this morning. Can you please repeat it for me?

To make a short story even shorter, he gave me the time and place for me to meet him on monday.

Atleast he didnt ask me to meet him earlier than 10.30 in the morning. Should be enough time for me to wake up, and not make a complete fool of myself when I meet up with him.

Paper schmaper.

Yesterday I wasnt able to go to sleep until around 5 in the morning. Dont ask me why, because I have no idea.

4 hours after I finally fell asleep the phone woke me up. It was a potential employer. Great first impression they got from me I imagine. They asked me to come in for an interview tomorrow morning. Good news, I guess.

The also asked me to bring papers on what i have done and stuff.

Papers...


Always these damn papers. Whats wrong with people? If I wanted to lie about what I have done and what I can do, I could just write a paper myself and say just about anything in it. Just because something is printed on a paper doesnt mean that its true. Take the bible for an example, its printed on paper. Still just a made up story.

Well, technically I guess the bible was first printed on papyrus or something, still doesnt make it true though. I can probably write a good story on papyrus as well. Saying that I used to be the king of france, now give me a job already. Just because I wrote it on a paper its true?

I'm trying to figure out what to say and so on the interview tomorrow. I'm probably going to have to argue how useless paper is, and how useless references are. Make them understand that I have nothing to gain from lying to them. Worst thing that can happen is that I lie to them, and say I can do stuff that I really cant do. It wouldnt take very long for someone to see that I was lying, and I would get fired. Then I'll be back in the exact same position as I am in right now. Then what did I gain from lying? Nothing.

The best proof anyone can get that I actually can do the stuff I say I can, is to give me a chance to prove it. But I guess people dont understand that.

I really dont feel like typing anymore right now.

Tomorrow I will either make yet anopther post stating how retarded people are, or it will be a post saying I finally got a job.

License for TV, what?

I just had a very intresting conversation over the phone. I had gotten a bill, one that I thought I shouldnt have to pay.

Where I live one must pay a license fee just to have a TV. Its retarded. First of all, if you have a license for anything, it usually means that you had to learn how to use it. Like a gun license and such. Now if someone came home to me to educate me how to use a TV, they'd get punched in the face to begin with. If they asked me if I wanted them to come and show me how the TV works, they'd get punched in the face.

I dont need anyone to tell me how a TV works, so in my opinion I dont need a license for it. Even if somehow I could understand what this is, other thahn just another way to make money off my ass. I could never understand why you need to pay for this so called license ever 3 months. Pay it once and then its done, ok I could probably do that just to get them off my ass. But every 3 months, really?

So anyway, I got this bill from them. And just seeing the damn bill made me mad as a hornet. First of all I'm just renting a room in an apartment, and the guy im renting from is paying his license. Second off, I dont even own a TV. And they keep sending me these damn bills anyway.

So I called them up, tried to breath slow and deep so that I wouldnt explode in their face the first thing I do. Even though it would have felt really nice to just scream at them and explain to them how incredible retarded they are, I'm not stupid. Well, im not that stupid anyway. I imagine alot of people call them and scream everyday. So I'm trying to keep my calm and going to try and reason with them.

Even though I have to listen to elevator music for 15 minutes while waiting for them to answer. I bet they think that that music will calm any angry customers that are calling, I also bet they are wrong.

Finally after 15 minutes on hold a woman answers. I explain to her that I got a bill that I have no intention of paying, that I'm only renting a room and have been so for quite awhile now. Then she tells me that 6 months ago they called me and that I then had admitted to having a TV.

Which I may or may not have done, I might have been drunk and admitted to anything.

So I'm telling her its not my number, must have been someone else. She checks up the number on the internet, and Im crossing my fingers that im not listed. Turns out im not listed, good for me!

Then she proceed with telling me that even if the guy who I rent from is paying his license, I have to pay for a license myself as well. If I have a TV.

I dont own a TV...

What use would I have of a TV anyway? there's always crap on TV anyway, and inbetween the crap there's commersial. Yeah, I'm no TV person.

Still keeping my calm here, but its getting really hard to put up a calm surface for this woman. So I once again explain how I rent a room, I have no TV whoever they called 6 months ago wasnt me, and I have never spoken with them before.

Lucky me, I'm pretty convincing. It only took me maybe 10 minutes to explain all this to her in a way she'd understand. And she finally told me I didnt have to pay any TV license, and thet she would remove me from their pay list or whatever it is they have.

If I ever get another bill from them I will send them a gift back. This gift may or may not contain explosives.

Lets talk politics.

Politics sucks, politicians sucks even more.

Done.

But if you want me to elaborate some, I will. Now I dont know much about world politics, or even the politics of my own country. But I'm not blind. I know what I see. What I see is that no matter who is in charge it all boils down to this.

A whole country working their asses off just to enable maybe 2% of the population to live a high end life. Does that seem fair to you? Politicians isnt in politics to make things better for the people, they're in it to make things better for themselves, to make themselves money. Want proof with that?

Ok well, if the politicians actually were in it for the people, they wouldnt mind living of a minimum wage salary for 1 year, just so they know what it takes to survive. They wouldnt mind making that small sacrifice for a year if that meant that in the long run things would get better for the people. If you can find even 1 politician that would be willing to do that, then I'll admit I'm wrong.

Its easy to make more money than you can spend every month and tell those with no jobs how easy everything is. Raise the taxes and lower the standard for the avarage worker, while pocket the big money for yourself. Make fancy statesments of how bad the economy is right now and that everyone is going through a rough time, and at the end of the day go hom to one of your million dollar villas.

And dont even get me started on royalties. We have a king, he's an idiot. No really he is, he cant even spell his own name. While our politicians telling everyone how bad the economy is and how everyone has to sacrifice something and lower their standards. They are giving the royal family millions upon millions every year, for no other reason than to pay for their jetset life.

Back in the days we had real kings, they were fighting wars and shit. They were in the front line of the battlefield with nothing more than a sword in their hands. A sword!. They were real men. Nothing like todays so called royalties, bunch of fags if you ask me.

If our goverment stopped giving hundreds of millions to the "royal family" each year, they could give each and everyone in our country about 500.000 each. Every year.

I can understand wanting to keep the royal family around for old traditions and what not. But since they are not actually doing anything but spending money all day long, they should not be spending the tax payers money for their own luxuries. The royal family is the richest wellfare family in the world. For real. I dont see why we should pay all these money just in order to perserve a tradition. not even the real kings back in the days, the one that actually made a difference in our country were as rich as todays royal family is. And back then they worked for their money, and more important for their people. Now all the royal family does is having one scandal after another, and keep spending our money. Think they give a shit about the people? Think they give a crap about those who works their ass of and give their hard earned money to them? Nah. Funny thing is, even if they actually did care, not even the goverment think they are important enough to have a say in anything anyway.

Thats right, our own king doesnt have any say at all when it comes to the country he is king over. This whole country and the way it is ran by those in charge is a fucking joke.

It's magic.

I'm one of those people that is happy when stuff works like they are supposed to. I'm not really asking why or how it works, as long as it works its all good to me. It would take too much time and energy to try and figure out how and why things work the way they do.

For example, if I turn the key in my car, it starts. I dont need to know why it starts, for all I care it can be magic.

I have no idea how my cellphone works, I think it has something to do with radiovawes. But again, it might as well be magic.

I have no idea why the electricity in the wall sockets dont shoot out sparks and kill me if i get too close. I'm glad it doesnt kill me, but I have no idea why.

My point is, I dont need to know these things. As long as everything just works as they're supposed to. I'm happy. Its only when stuff stops working as intended that I really notice it. Like when the car dont start in the morning when you're on the way to work. But even then I'm not too intrested in knowing why, I'm just mad because it dont work as it should. If I were able to "fix" it by screaming and yelling at it for 10 minutes, I would. I wouldnt really care why the screaming and yelling fixed it though.

There is other people, people who dont think like me aparently. Yeah I know, odd huh? Some people out there cant stand not knowing how stuff works and why. And just telling them its "magic" wont get you very far. They need to know down to the last molecule, how and why. I'm not saying these people are wrong in any way, because they are not. These people are probably the ones that are the successfull ones in life. You dont become a rocket scientists without wanting to know how stuff works and why.

I'm a very accepting person. If someone were to give me a button, and tell me by pressing this button I could have whatever I want. I wouldnt think twice about how it works. I would probably not want to know how it works anyway. What if whenever I use my button cute and fuzzy baby bunnies die in masses, just so I can have what I want. Would I wanna know that? Not really. Would it make a difference? Nope. Even if someone told me that everytime I push my button to fullfill my needs, thousands of fuzzy baby bunnies dies. I'd still press that button without hesitating.

Maybe I would think, poor those bunnies, but I would really like a new car. Or even maybe just a cup of coffee. What? I like coffee. 1000 dead baby bunnies is a small price to pay to not have to go make my coffee myself.

Trigger happy.

People have always found excuses for fighting each other. Every since that day when you were 4 years old and that mean kid next door took your favourite toy and refused to give it back.

Then you have people fighting over religions, among other things. It just seems to be in peoples nature to want to fight. Maybe its the cave-man gene that tells us we have to show that we are stronger. No matter why, people have always been fighting each other, and I have no doubt they will always fight.

The difference from my point of view is this. When I grew up kids and teenagers were fighting just as they are today. But it was different back then. Back then they were fighting with their fists, and whoever got knocked down first lost, as simple as that. and it was an unwritten rule to not keep hitting someone who was already down.

Now these days every other guy, not only teenagers, but kids and adults as well are carrying some sort of weapon. A knife, a gun anything. Why would they do that? You read every day in the paper that someone had killed someone over some really stupid thing. And then claim that they didnt mean to kill him. I got news for you, if you shoot someone in the face, they usually die. If you didnt mean to kill anyone then why did you even carry a gun in the firt place? For protection you say? Yeah, I dont believe that. If everyone was carrying a gun  for protection, people will get trigger happy. They will see threats where there is none and shoot before they find out there was no threat.

That guy looked at you in a way you find threatening? Bam, shoot him!

This guy have an opinion that differs from yours? Bam shoot him!

That guy took the parking space you had your eyes on? Bam shoot him!

I dont believe in carrying guns for protection, because even if thats all you want it for. You will never know when you find yourself in a situation where you get so provoked that you will use it, even if its not needed for your own safety.

Besides, is it worth it to spend the rest of your life in prison because you reacted too fast and killed someone?

Ofcourse, where I live the authorities have greatly underestimated how long we live. Because anyone who gets a life sentence ususally gets out from prison in about 10 years or so. What are they thinking about?

You bastard! you killed someone, you'll pay for this by sitting in prison for the rest of your life. We estimate that you will live for 10 years, so unless you die within these 10 years we're just gonna set you free again. But by then I really hope you have learned your lesson!

Whatever happen with an eye for an eye? Killed someone? Then you deserve to get killed in the same way.

Could I ever kill someone? Ofcourse I could, if my life or the life of someone i love was in danger I sure could kill someone. Am I carrying around a gun every day just incase anything like that should happen? No I'm not, why would I? That sounds almost like you're hoping for someone to attack you so you'll get an excuse to shoot them. If I find myself in a situation where I need to kill someone to either protect myself or someone I love, I can assure you I dont need a gun.

I'll kill that bastard with my cellphone if needed. I'll smash that cellphone so hard in his face that he wont know what hit him. Guns are for pussies.

We are at war!

Awhile ago one of our neighbour countries, Iceland, declared war with the rest of the europe. By using a highly technological weapon also known as a volcano, they have spewed volcanic ash all over europe, preventing any airline traffic from taking off and land. Now some of you might think its all the work of mother nature, or even that its the hand of god who is punishing us. You are all wrong. Even though volcanos themselves are made by nature, the eruption of this one is man made.

The people of Iceland have gotten tired of beeing a secluded island that nobody cares for. For decades now they have put alot of resources into finding a way to make their volcanos erupt at their will. And this is just the beginning. This was merely a small test with one of their smaller volcanos, while the real attack is still to come from the bigger one, Katla. We believe that the government of Iceland have been in contact with the rest of the governments in europe, and have demanded them to fully surrender themselves to Iceland in order for them to cancel the planned eruption of Katla.

This attack is believed to have its roots from the fact that Iceland is nothing more than an over sized iceberg, less than 40,000 square mile big. It may even be the very same iceberg that did the attack on Titanic, 98 years ago almost on the day, april 14th 1912. Its believed that Iceland had planned this volcanic attack to celebrate the 100 year anniversary  of them successfully sinking Titanic. But, since they have a language that no one, not even themselves can understand, there have been some misscommunication.

As of now, its impossible to leave europe. Which means that Iceland is basically holding all europeans prisoners for now. This is just the first step towards world domination under Iceland. What other terrors awaits us from Iceland?

It is also believed that Iceland have a fleet of highly trained whales at their disposal. Confirmation on what kind of whales we are talking about is still needed. While the volcanic ashes that are now covering bigger parts of europe may possible create a semi nuclear winter for 95% of europe. Iceland themselves have been preparing themselves for this for years. Their geysers are their defence to their volcanos. While the volcao ashes are spreading, the steam and water from they geysers seem to have the effect that the volcano ashes are spreading away from Iceland, rather than stay there.

The world as we know it is about to end. Sooner than anyone would have thought. You may very well find yourself speaking a language you cant understand within the next couple of months. I dont know which is worse, to become a part of the Icelandic Empire, or to die a horrible death in a nuclear winter caused by volcanic ashes. You have to judge for yourself.

Dont forget to tell your loved one how much you love them, soon it will be too late and they wont be able to understand you.

Work related.

Now this might come as a surprise for those who knows me. But I think very highly of myself. I firmly believe that I can just walk in to any random company or office, and find one person that I can outperform on his job. Its not that hard.

Grocery store - I can pack/unpack groceries just as good as anyone else. Probably better.

Salesman - How hard can it be? You're selling stuff, probably stuff that some people want. The people that want what you sell are going to buy it no matter who the salesman is.

Butcher - Again, how hard can it be? I know which end of the knife is the sharp one. Chop chop, no problem there.

Bus driver - I got a driving license, so whats the big deal? A bus might be a little bit bigger than my car, but I bet its all just about the same.

Construction worker - Yeah, someone tells you what to build, they give you blueprints and all the materials you need to get the job done. Sooo hard.

Teacher - I know stuff! I promise I do, and I can pass my knowledge on to others, no problem there. Especially when it comes to children, because they wouldnt know if what I said was wrong anyway, and if they question me I could just say "Because it just is that way".

psychiatrist - I'm a pretty good listener. And from my understanding, people who go to psychiatrists usually just need someone to listen to them. Most of them already know the answers for their questions, they just need someone they can vent to in order to get their thoughts straight. And pills, oh the pills. Let's not go there.

Priest - Just because I dont believe doesnt mean I cant convince others to believe. Besides they have this guide book called the bible anyway. Basically all you need to know as a priest is how to read. I can read.

Broker - Now this is something I think I'll be very good at. I'm always broke, and shouldnt have a problem to make other people broke as well. This would definitely be a job for me.

Now as you can see, these are just some examples of jobs i could easily do. Only problem is I don't have official papers saying I can. Whats up with that anyway? In what way would it benefit me to lie and say I can do something I cant do? I'd just embarras myself and get myself fired, see? In my opinion, it should be enough that I walk in somewhere I wanna work and tell them I can do this. If I had any doubt in myself, I would never say I could do it in the first place. It makes sense to me.

Now, when it comes to jobs that I'm very familliar with, as welder. I take it as a big insult that companies I apply to work for want papers on it. I've been working as a welder for 10 years, I know this job. But rather than put a little trust in me and let me show them what I can do, they prefer to hire some dude who dont even know what a welding machine looks like, but he got some paper saying he knows how to weld, because he read a book about it. What the hell?

And they want references! What an insult! But really, if I have travelled all over the world welding shit for people, then who the hell am I going to have as my reference? Does it make sense that someone who sat in an office 2000 miles away from where I worked, and who has only seen me once when I signed the contract should be my reference? That doesnt make any sense at all to me. Now I have tried to use people I have worked together with as my references, but the companies I've applied for say they are "unreliable", because they are my "friends". Common, they have been WORKING  with me, hence they have seen me perform with their own eyes. But yea, why dont we ask this guy in a suit that have never even seen me work how well I perform, that makes alot more sense.

Or you can just hire this guy over here, the one who knows how to weld in theory, because he read about it. And someone wrote him a note saying "good job, you have read about welding. And I gotta say you read it very well".

Your child,

I know you love your child, and only wants whats best for him/her. I know you want to protect them against the evil in the world. You want them to know no evil, and all that. I can understand that, I really can.

But the sooner your child learns that the world isnt all pink clouds and fuzzy rabits, the better they will do out in the world. Can you even begin to imagine what it would do to your child if you show them that the world is all fuzzy and cuddly, what do you think will happen when they realize that the world is a bitch? If the live in a protective area until they are teens, then what? What have you accomplished by making them believe that the world is a nice place? It will come as a chock to them that the world in general is just there in order to use them, and you know its true. Why else would you feel the need to protect them?

Now I dont suggest that you show pictures of vicims of war to your child every day at breakfast. But telling them that the world is a wonderful place, and all you have to do to get treated right and well is to treat others right and well, is technically lying to your child. You don't want to lie to your child do you?

You know that in reality, its the ones that acts like jerks and are extremely selfish that gets the most out of life right? I'm not talking about morals and such now. But its from my experience the people that know to take what they believe they are worth that usually gets away with it. While someone who might be worth just as much sits in silence and wait for it to be given to him or her.

Maybe I am cynical, but that doesnt mean that I'm wrong. Way too many times have I seen "the nice guy" get run over by those that arent so nice. And more often than not they'll get away with it. Ofcourse its not a good idea to raise your child to become an ass either. But the best way to protect your child would be to prepare them for the real world, am I wrong? And the real world is pretty ugly. Honor and moral gets you nowhere. I dont mean you should not learn your child about moral and honor, just that they shouldnt rely on it. In a perfect world, treating others with honor, respect and moral would make the treat you the same way. But the world is far from perfect, people will cheat their way through life if they get the chance of doing so. They will take what dont belong to them, if they believe its easier than working for it themselves.

Just keep in mind, you dont want your child to be the one that everyone uses because he or she is too nice to people.

What men say.

After I made the post about women the other day, it was pointed out to me that I should make a simmilar one about men. Now why would I do that? We're men, we say what we mean. Dont we? I know what I say and what I mean all the time, but just to be fair I will do my best. Which means internet research. After spending my whole weekend online on various womens forums and stuff like that, I have found out what men say and what they really mean according to women on the internet.

Enjoy!

I'm hungry = I'm hungry

I'm tired = I'm tired

Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Would you like to dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!

You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you

What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psycho trauma are you going through now?

You look upset = I guess sex tonight is out of the question

Yes, I love your new hairstyle = I liked it better before

Yes, your haircut looks good = $50 and it doesn't even look different!

I like the first dress you tried on better = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go!

Sure, let's go see that play = I don't want to go, but you'll make my life miserable if I don't go.

Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

You're the only girl I've ever cared about = You are the only girl who has not rejected me

Now, this list isnt very accurate or flattering to us men in my opinion. It makes us look like all we care about is food and sex. As if that isnt the only thing women care about as well, that and shoes.

Women

During my daily browsing for fun stuff on the internet today, I stumbled on the subject of women. Now we all already know that women are most of the time impossible to understand, and rarely say right out what they actually mean, or want to say.

This is what some men/guys on the internet has to say about what women say, and what they really mean.


"It's not you, it's me" = "It's you"

"I think we should see other people." = "Ha, I already am!"

"I just need some space" = "GTFO".

"No, I'm not mad" = "I'm furious, probably about absolutely nothing, and you couldn't possibly know why, BUT YOU BETTER FUCKING KNOW WHY OR YOU'RE GOING TO HEAR ABOUT IT FOR 5 HOURS!"

"I have a headache." = "I prefer the vibrator you don't know I have."

"I'm not interested in a relationship" = "I will get in a relationship soon, but not with you"

"No, it's okay" = "Fuck no it's not okay, fix it, NOW."

"I just want a nice guy, someone that likes me for me." = "I'm going to ignore guys who are nice and date douches that just want me for my body."

"I'm fine." = "If you don't apologize or make it up to me in the next few seconds I'm going to cry."

"We need to talk." = "I need to complain."

"I'm fine!" = "You're gonna get shit no matter what you do!"

"I don't want to talk about it" = "I want to talk about it, but if you try to make me talk about it, I'll start crying even more because you're pushing me, but if you don't try to talk about it, I'll yell at you for not caring."

"It's nothing"= "you did something wrong, but I am not going to tell you what, and you had better figured out what and apologized for it and have bought me something with-in a day or I am going to be in tears in the bathroom and make you feel like crap."

"No you go have fun with your friends"- "because I am going to make you watch a project runway marathon and sex in the city with my friends tomorrow, but you don't know that yet."

"How much do you love me?" = "I did something today you're really not going to like."

"So who are you going out with?"- "there had better not be any women there, even if they are 80 years old and 500 lbs."

"I Love You" - "You better say it back instantly or no sex til you say it and mean it"

These are just some examples for how men/guys see the things women says. Now who am I to judge what is right or wrong here. But as a man I sure have been in situations where a woman is as mad as a hornet at me and im totally clueless why she is mad and what i have done wrong. And they have a way of telling you that "everything is fine" when you ask whats wrong. Now, how does a woman expect you to learn from your misstakes if they never let you know what you did wrong?


Women, (wo)man up and say whats on your mind, when its on your mind! Telling us men 3 months later what we did wrong, is not working. If I do or say something wrong today, rather than tell me how I pissed you off today, you'll bring up what I did 3 months ago that pissed you off, which you by the way never told me 3 months ago when I could have done something about it.

Rage!

This will be my second post for today, and I'm doing it solely in order to show how stupid and forgiving people actually are.

Today was the third phase of the alpha test I'm currently doing, it was supposed to have started 20 minutes ago. However when I couldn't log in the game I went to their forums to see whats up. And this is the message I see from the gaming company.

During the alpha test that occurred on Apr. 15, 2010 at 18:00 (GMT), due to characters logging with with damaged data, there were a number of server issues and many had trouble staying connected to the alpha test.

As a result of our investigation, we have found that while some characters were deleted because of data issues the other day, all of the damaged characters were not deleted. Because of this, we will once again be isolating and deleting the characters in question.

Additionally, while we plan to deal with this issue with all possible speed, we do not yet know when this will be complete. Therefore, the alpha tests for Apr. 15 and Apr. 18 have been canceled.

The next alpha test dates will be posted as soon as the issues have been resolved such that we can resume.

Ok, so I can understand there's a problem and what not. What I cant understand is the testers reactions. I see this as even more of my time wasted. Because I could have gone and done something esle instead of sitting home waiting on the alpha test to start. Most of the other testers though seems to be completely content by having their time wasted again and again. This is some of the responses that were posted in the forums, made by the testers.

"So ? It's not a problem at all"

"Patiently awaiting the next round of testing, and here's hoping they might even get some more work done until then!"

"I think it's good that they've cancelled todays and saturdays tests. It gives them more time to work out some of the problems such as the informous high traffic error."

"And I think it's a pretty good thing they they've cancelled today's and sunday's tests, prolonging the tests will give them extended time to iron out more bugs and issues they know about."

"I wasn't in the mood for testing, anyway."

"One side of me is like ok, more time equals a more stable server and playtime for the next time."

"Good on them deciding to take the time to get it right."

"just looking forward to being able to log on, get in and play a little."

"I guess it's best for them to take the time and get it right. Less frustration in the coming weeks."

"if the next time the servers will be more stable I will wait with pleasure."

What the...?

I mean really? This gaming company keeps wasting your time week after week and giving you nothing in return, and the best you people can come up with is "thank you sir, may I have another?" Now I know the european, japanese and americans have different forums, and I have no idea what is said on the other 2. So I cant say if its just europeans that are this gay or not. Or is people just afraid of getting pissed off? Think they'll get kicked from the non working test we're supposed to run if they get mad and voice their opinions? I myself have already tried to reason with these people, but unsuccessfully. It's like we're talking different languages, which we kind of do I guess, but still.

This is how I see it. The damn gaming company shouldnt have realeased any alpha/beta test at all until they had done atleast some testings by themselves. We are supposed to be testing the game for bugs, and so far no one has been able to stay logged in long enough to know what is a bug and what isnt. The only thing we have done so far is stress testing their test server, which there are very good softwares that could do.

I dont know exactly how many testers there are, but lets say its roughly 2000 testers in each area, Europe, Asia, and America, thats 6000 testers. Now this gaming company is wasting  4 hours for all of us 3 times per week. thats a total of 72000 hours per week. To make an example, if you work for 8 hours per day, 7 days per week you work 2920 hours in 1 year. Not alot of people actually work every single day every week. But you get the point. If you were to work 8 hours per day, 7 days per week, 365 days per year. 72000 hours equal 24.5 years of hard work. You can only imagine how much money you would have made in 24.5 years. Basically this gaming company is wasting 24 years per week for us testers. And these people (the gay testers) just goes along with that and think thats all fine. What is wrong with people!?

Patience is a virtue.

I have no patience, none at all. I have no patience with people in general, or with stupidity. Stupidity isnt always the same as unintelligent mind you. There's lots of intelligent people who are stupid out in the world, just look at your loca politician and the desicions thay make.

I most certainly dont have any patience at all when things are supposed to be one way, but goes in the oposite direction. I dont see the point in that at all. Really I dont. If something is supposed to be one way, but other people make sure its not what its supposed to be, I just wanna punch someone in the face. Really hard. What is the point in working towards getting something wrong? How are people like that thinking, or arent they thinking at all? "Hmm, lets put alot of time and effort into making this completely wrong". Really people?

Maybe its something wrong with me. Maybe its my innate laziness that makes me want to do stuff right the first time so I dont have to do it all over again. I'm not going to try and hide it, I am lazy. I'm not doing anything I dont absolutely have to do, unless I actually enjoy doing it. But most of the time, anything that is even related to working I dont enjoy.

Now, as I said I have no patience. That is not to be misstaken for my stubborness though. I'm as stubborn as a rock, in the meaning that rock actually are stubborn. I mean try to tell a rock that it's actually an apple, it'll still be a rock no matter how persistant you are. Now thats stubborn right? These two traits I have, I find contradicting each other more often than not. If something does go wrong, I really have no patience trying to fix it, but at the same time I am way to stubborn to not fix it. How's that for glutton for punishment? Aparently self torture is i my nature, and I cant help it.

Yesterday I tried to fix an audio book so that I could put it on my phone, so I can listen to it wherever I am. Thats usually no problem, most audio books have few files and are easy to manage. Now this one had a bazillion files all less than 400 kb, rather than the usual 20ish files all between 5-10 mb. Now this wouldnt really had been a problem unless it was because when I put them files on my phone, they get all mixed up. I dont wanna listen to 53 sec of the first chapter followed by 44 sec of the 7th chapter, followed by 37 sec of the 3rd chapter. Well you see my point.

So I figured that I will make each CD in to 1 seperate file. It doesnt sound very hard and complicated now does it? So I downloaded a bunch of audio convert programs from the internet. First one i tried I fell in love with. It was so easy. Put all files in one place, press a button and have them all joined together in 1 file in another place. It cant be much easier than that. Only when I was going to listen to this new file I found what was wrong. Because the program I used was just a trial version I got a commersial message in my audio book every 10 sec. We cant have that now can we? I tried one of the other programs that I had downlaoded, this was a free software.

It was almost as easy to work with as the first one, put file there, get 1 separate file somewhere else. So i did this with all 20 CD's. Now I had 20 files, each around 60-80 mb, instead of having around 1500 files all 20-400 kb. Then I see something. My files, that I just made arent named the way I told them to be named. Ok, no big deal, I'll just rename them all. So I'm fixing all the tags on my files, name, album, artist, genre and all that. Then I put it in windows media player in order to convert them so I can put them on my phone. Only when the files are showing on the media player they arent named the way I named them still.

Now had it been that i mis spelled titles or something I would have understood, it would have all been my fault. But this wasnt the case. 1 of my files said it was some dance collection whatever thingy, it even had a cover picture!! What the,.... I didnt even had that picture anywhere on my computer. Some of the other files said "Learn Korean", im pretty darn sure I have never wanted to learn korean, and I'm very sure that I did not name my audio book files that way. Not to speak of that some of the tags were written on some squiggly language (probably korean then I guess). Now these tags refused to be changed! no matter how many times I renamed them. Granted that it was still my audio book despite the names of the files, but still! When I put the files in my phone I want them all in order in one place so I can easily make a playlist that works the way I want it to. But with files having random korean names, my files are all over the place once put in the phone.

This is one example of the things I dont have patience with. But because my stubborness, I sat up til 5 am this morning trying to fix this. Eventually I had to give up because I was falling asleep, and I didnt want to have to punch my computer/phone in the "face" for doing it wrong.

Rants.

The differences between living alone and living with someone else are many. For one, living alone you dont have to take someone elses feelings into consideration, you dont have to respect someone elses privacy, or lack thereof.

Now I dont live alone, nor am I living together with someone I love, or even really care for. I have a roommate, a german one, he's here working. I had never met him before the day I moved in, I had never even spoken to him. It all works out pretty easy. I give him money, and he let me have a room in his apartment (intenet® included). He have no expectations on me, other than I give him the rent money by the end of the month. And well that I dont make a mess everywhere and expect him to clean up after me, which suits me fine, I dont like messes very much myself.

The downside though about living with someone you dont care about, is that you'll have to go to bed alone at night (unless you want a german guy with you in bed, which I dont). And you also have no right to have expectations on him, or the right to complain to him (unless the internet® stop working). You also cant go eat his food from the fridge, which can be tempting at times. It always seems that no matter how much food I have at home, his food always seems nicer. Why is that by the way? Grass is always greener and all that? I wonder if he thinks the same about my food, if he does maybe we can have food switch days.

Another thing would be that I obviously cant have lots of friends over and have a party, especially not since he is working 6 days per week, while I'm working zero days per week. The whole snuggeling in front of a good movie and having taco nights is also not an option.

Now I dont watch TV, I really never do watch TV at all. I really dont see the point in it. Lets say I wanna watch a TV show, or a movie or something. Then I get to watch 5-10 minutes of what I want, followed by 10 minutes of commersial, then another 5-10 minutes of what I want followed by yet another 10 minute commersial break. Why would anyone put themselves through that? I'd much rather downlaod the TV show I want to see from the internet® and watch it when I have the time to do so, without any breaks, or with as many and as long breaks as I want to have. I dont want to watch a half naked man use a razorblade with 8 blades and batteries in the middle of my favourite TV show, that will most likely NOT make me buy that razor. I'd by any razor BUT that one, I will always remember that razor as the one that popped up just when the TV show I was watching was most exciting. The resentment towards that razor will be huge.

I think the whole commersial thingy is backfiring at them. The pay huge amount of money to show their products on TV, which will annoy the crap out of people and keep them from buying said product. Not to speak of the fact the the commersials costs alot of money, so they have to sell these items alot more expensive than a brand who dont use TV commersial for their products. If the stop doing TV commersials, their product would cost less money and they could sell it cheaper, and if they really are that good, people will keep buying it. Simple math to me.

But then again, I guess I think too high of humankind. I guess 97.5% of them all are mindless sheeps with no will of their own. If someone on TV tells them to buy something, they'll run to the store and buy it. Even if they have no use for it what so ever. If anyone on TV says you cant live without a razor that has both 8 blades AND batteries, then its obviously true, you can't live without it. Better hurry up and get one before you get caught without it and die.

The horror!

Today my friend forced me to go with him to this place he call "Outside". It's a scary place this outside. When I asked him what we would do there he reply "Get some resh air". You know, I'm all for the envoriment and all, I like recycling and stuff. I really dont mind staying here and recycling my air for a few more days. Who knows how much rain forest that would save? But beeing the persistant little bugger as he is (my friend that is), he wouldnt leave me alone until I agreed on go outside with him.

I was also running out of coffee and cigarettes, which had a big influense in me agreeing to go anywhere.

We must have passed atleast 3 grocery stores that probably sold a whole variety of coffee and cigarettes on our way. But could I go in there and buy what I wanted and then go back home again? No. He insisted that we took a longer walk for this "fresh air" thingy.

As windy as it was here today, I'm pretty sure I got an overdose of fresh air. I didnt even have to breath really, just open my mouth and the air just streamed down my lungs whether I wanted or not. Do you know how many cigarettes I have to smoke to make up for all that? Me neither, but I'm sure its atleast a full packet extra the next few days.

But I endured it all. I took comfort in the fact that later today I was having the second phase of the alpha test I'm doing for a big game company.

The alpha test started an hour ago by the way. And guess what I'm doing instead of beeing online and bumping my pixel head against a pixel wall time after time to make sure its solid? I'm sitting here and writing an online blog, that no one will probably even read. Makes sense, no?

Well, let me explain. After the first alpha test the game company had us uninstall the game and downlaod a new version of it. I downlaoded this new version 2 days ago, just to be done in time so when the test server open I can just log in and start banging my head against random stuff in game.

7.54 PM CET (central european time) I started up the game.

Started up the game...

Started up the...

Started...

!!!

What the...!?

11000 Version update failed.

It wont even let me get to where I'm supposed to put my pasword in order to log in. This is annoying, since I checked, double checked, tripple checked everying TWICE yesterday to make sure everything worked out the way it was supposed to. And it did.

So now I'm having to download it all over again and see if that makes a difference. And guess what. It will take about 6-8 hours!

What was that you say? Get a better and faster internet you say? For your information my internet have 24 mb/s download speed! However when downloading the client from Square E... umm I mean from the "Game Company" I'm only able to downlaod about 100 kb/s. Cheap bastards!

Last alpha test I was able to play around 20 minutes out of 4 hours, this time around I'll get to download the client once again, and by the time thats all done the test server is down again.

And people say "You're so lucky to be in the alpha test".

Lucky!??

Lucky is to win the lottery, lucky is to find a bag with lots of money in it that no one is missing. Lucky is the get A on your math test by just guessing all the answers. This is NOT lucky! I'd like to believe I was carefully chosen because of my superior understanding of game mechanics. And maybe because I have given my money to this game company every month for the past 6 years. And now all they are doing is wasting 12 hours of my time every week and call it "alpha test".

You know why most gaming companies dont have alpha tests? Its because they arent so damn cheap, they actually do their alpha test "in house", they hire people and pay them with something I would like to call "money", in order to do the alpha test. Then later on they have a closed beta and an open beta test that they invite certain people to (people like me). The difference between alpha and beta is that the beta version of the game is actually playable, while the alpha test is only stressing both my computer and my nerves.

The only thing good with alpha, is that my alpha account will be valid for closed and open beta as well once they get that far. So I'm seriously considering just skipping this "alpha" and wait til everyone who thinks they're so damn "lucky" to be in alpha to fix the worst bugs, and then I'll just join when the fun starts.

Jerks

Just another day.

Yet another weekend is over.

Although weekends are no different than any other day of the week to me. The avarage saturday looks something like this usually.

12:00 Wake up, incredible sleepy still.

12:01 Make my way to the kitchen and make really strong coffee.

12:02 Chain smoke 2 cigaretts while the coffee is making.

12:05 Sweet sweet coffee!

12:10 Boot up comuter.

12:15 Check email, facebook, look for job, browse some forums.

12:30 Start up Final Fantasy XI.

12:45 Still trying to wake up. Need more coffee!

13:15 Looking for funny stuff on the internet while looking for party in game.

15:00 Trying to decide if I'm hungry.

15:01 If hungry warm up leftovers, if not, more coffee.

16:00 Bored.

17:00 Bored, still looking for party in game. Make a party? Too lazy.

17:02 Text message on the cellphone, don't bother to see who it is and what they want.

17:12 Need more coffee again. And smoking.

17:20 I should probably learn japanese...

17:35 Another text message on the cellphone. Both messages is someone wanting me to call them up, ignoring it.

18:17 Restless, weather is nice, a cold beer would have been nice too. but I have none.

18:47 Oh thats right, cat needs food and such. Cats are demanding animals...

19:08 Raid the fridge, there's lots of food in there, but nothing I want right now. How come no matter how much stuff you have in the fridge you always want the stuff you dont have anyway?

19:23 Worrying about the future.

19:37 Worrying about the future AND about money.

19:56 Making criminal plans on how to get money and secure the future.

20:01 Giving up on my plans because I know I would get caught anyway.

20:05 Playing the lottery, I can feeel it I'm going to win this week. The jackpot is currently 300 million.

20:10 Making plans for when I win those 300 millions. So much to do and have to decide in which order I should do it all.

20:16 More coffee, putting on some music.

20:17 Is this really MY playlist? What was I thiking of?

20:35 Still looking for party in game, maybe I should change to another job.

20:37 Stomach growling, making a few cheese sandwhiches while having a cigarette.

21:00 Checking The Pirate Bay for new stuff.

21:08 Downlaoding the latest episode of CSI from TPB.

21:14 Dowload ready. It's in RAR format and password protected. I'm asked to go to some Spanish website to get the password. Yeah right, deleting CSI.

21:18 Cursing out all spanish people for beeng evil.

21:35 Staring at my character in game. Checking chatlog to see if I missed a party invite, but I havent.

21:42 Got a tell in game! www.brogame.com we sell gil cheap! only 24$ for 1 milion! now 5% extra code: BR74. Just for you! Comon!

21:43 Cursing out all RMT's and Square Enix.

22:00 Wishing I could make money as easy in real life as I can in the game, go kill some animals, sell their remains and get rich.

22:14 More coffee.

22:16 smoking.

22:30 Decide to solo some in game, got aggro on the way to camp and died.

22:31 Cursing out the game.

23:15 Browsing the internet for funny stuff.

23:24 Reading some amusing argument on an internet forum.

23:43 Trolling said forum for a bit. Smiling to myself. This is fun, people are getting mad.

00:23 I'm getting sleepy.

00:25 Getting a party invite in game. Figures, just as I was about to log off...

00:26 More coffee.

01:05 Leader of the party is still looking for members...

01:30 Party finally starts.

01:32 Healer lost their internet connection.

01:40 Healer coming back again.

02:23 Getting really sleepy, finding someone to take my place in the party so I can leave.

02:55 My replacement finally shows up.

02:56 Logging off the game.

02:58 Going to bed.

03:03 Remember that I forgot to brush my teeth. I'll do it tomorrow morning.


I know, you're probably jealous over the life I'm living. I would be too if I were you. As you can tell, I'm having a really exciting life. Tomorrow I might go on an adventure to the grocery store, I'm running out of coffee and cigarettes.